I don’t know how this day is already here. It’s been a day that I have dreaded and that I hoped I would never see for a long time. 6 months today, was the last day I got to see my brother smile, to hear him laugh and to hear his voice. It was the last time I got to hear him make a silly joke, and flip his hair around like the goofball he was, because he was so proud of how long his hair had gotten. I remember every single detail of that day, and the days following. It’s something that I don’t think I will EVER be able to forget.
Half a year without my best friend. Some days it’s already felt like a lifetime, some days it only feels like it’s been a few short weeks. I still can hear his laugh inside my head. When something funny happens, I automatically think “Mikey would be laughing so hard right now.” I always think about what he would do, or how he would react to everything. I see SO MUCH of him in ALL of his little babies, and it just blows my mind how alike him they are. The first ever Browns game, I watched for him – and every single one after. (I’ve always been confused with football 😂 but I’m watching it for my big brother 💛)
I often feel him around me, taking in all the signs. I never used to be a big believer of that sort of thing, until recently. Everything has sort of just fell into place, and it’s like – when I need him the most, he’s always there. Just as he was when he was here for me to talk to in person or on the phone. It still feels so unreal, still like it’s all just a bad dream. I just know he will always be with me. All I want to do is make him proud. I love you so much Michael Alan, and we miss you every single day. I hope those beautiful angel wings continue taking you places you’ve always wanted to see. 💙